My mother works in histology at a city hospital. She enjoys telling me terrible and gruesome tales of the things that happen at her work:
“We had a poor old girl die from an intercranial bleed-on at 9:15 wednesday night. She was an organ donor so they took her to surgery immediately afterward and took out her organs and her bones.
“At 3:00 PM on Thursday, Administration called me to see where the body was. We didn’t know there was a body in the morgue. I went back to the morgue and there she was: lying out in the room, no fridge, just flat (no bones), wrapped in paper, like a roast.
“I called her family, and her brother said the “county” was on the way to pick up the body so the morgue workers left the body out so the county workers could sign and get it.
“At 1:00 PM on Saturday, Administration called me. The woman’s brother had just called to tell Administration that the funeral home would be out later to get the body.
“I went back to the morgue, and sure enough, there in the same place, not refrigerated, is this flattened, two-day-old dead woman still laying there on the slab.
“By now she had rigor mortis, but of course she had no bones so she couldn’t poke up too much.
“Stuff was seeping out of her eyes because the eye bank had taken her corneas, and stuff was oozing out of her mouth, filling up the paper around her head.
“It was gruesome, but it’s also sad. Just think: this woman had donated her organs and tissue, doing the one last good thing she could do on earth, but once Surgery harvested them, they shoved her body aside.
“It’s really disrespectful.
“I called Administration, and they made Surgery get back in there and put the woman’s body in the fridge until the funeral home arrived.”
Pfreaky!
In my band I have two kids whos dads are funeral home directors and the county mortition. I have heard some pretty screwy tales and crap, and I would hope that there is better ettiquite in the morgue than that.
Remember that crematorium? Reckon who will see who in hell?
Reckon who will see who in hl
You know, this is all freakily coincidental, considering that my mom and I got into a screaming fit over the beneficiarly of my life insurance tonight (NOT HER)
so I’d like to take this moment to state: I want my body donated to science, I want my organs donated, and if I turn up dead in the next few months, everyone come back to this comment….
While we are on the subject, if I were to kick over while typing this or anytime thereafter, all I ask is this.
1. Don’t wear black to my funeral.
2. Have a wake, and drink lots of beer (don’t forget one for all ya dead homies)
3. Only family buys flowers. This is cause they will “need” to. Others, you make donations to your charity of choice for the ammount of what the flowers would have been. Flowers die but with a little help hopes don’t.
4. When ya put me under, stick one of those cheap ass FRS radios in with me. Hook it up to a bas ass battery and about every day or so, someone drop by and check out the channel that you set the radio on when you put it on monitor. Just in case my friends, you never know (but then again David Blane does!).
5. And last but now least, if ya are gonna cus me when I am dead, please do it while I am alive so that I can kick you in the nuts and actually enjoy it!
Jeremie!!!!
BTW I love the new Weezer video for “Keep Fishin”!
I’m not making plans for my funeral. I’ll let someone else sweat it.
i fart in the general direction of death