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I'm quite normal, really. I was born in a mental institution in western Mongolia [Dund-Us, to be precise]. I was raised by several nuns and a flock of raving Mongolian madmen. My first word was 'butter'. It doesn't mean 'butter' in Mongol. When I was thirteen I ran away and joined the Chinese Navy, only to be attacked by pirates and left for dead off the coast of Timboor Island. I lived wild for a year on the island, and to this day flinch at the sight of a seagull. I have romantic feelings about sea cucumbers, however. I was rescued by an illicit organ-trader based out of Perth, who gave me a formal education and a slight case of Herpes, as well as imparting me with the secret knowledge of hexing via trumpet. She had beautiful eyes, and made quite a bit of money selling them. I found myself aboard a ship full of Nikes bound for America at age 17, and there I joined several militant lesbian groups, eventually winding up in Boaz, Alabama. Boaz is a major lesbian militant hotspot, in case you didn't know. While I was there, I worked odd jobs, including pizza delivery with Miss Jett. Since that time I have made my living as a geomancer and part-time Feng-Shui analyst, supplementing my income with network engineering. |