Yaaaaay! Another friend has gotten out of Florence, and he didn’t even have to lose his soul. Congratulations, Kevin…never go back.

Florence has a bad habit of sucking the soul out of people. Most of the people I know in that town are perfectly content to stay there forever.

Not me. I’m going to nursing school, then moving to Australia just so the damned place never sucks me back into it’s vortex. Since I moved out a year ago, I have been back into the town itself exactly 5 times, all for unavoidable things such as my mom getting married for the 4th time and Xmas and stuff like that. Paul, however, went back ALL THE TIME. Paul is moving back in 2 months, to live in his mom’s basement for the rest of his life. Coincedence? I think not. (Of course, I’m not quite as much into substance abuse, either.)

Across the river is fine. I’ve been to Muscle Shoals and Tuscumbia numerous times and never felt the vortex dragging me back. Quite the contrary, actually. I felt an overwhelming urge to get back home to Huntsville. So, Kevin, when you go see your folks, take the Alternate 72 route. Don’t go through Florence. I’d hate for you to get sucked back in.

It’s dragged me back from 800 miles away. The vortex brought me back from Jacksonville, FL twice. This time, I’m not letting it happen. I’ve cut all ties. If someone from that godforsaken town wants to talk to me, my number is listed. I won’t go back. I won’t be sucked in again.

I hate that town. Can you tell?