My whole family is just so damn weird. My sister just sent me her first email, and this is what she wrote:

To: eric
Subject: (no subject)

hey, this is your seester. whatcha doin. i’ve found a woman for you. she’s your type, maybe not too intelligent though. she’s tall, thin, has short funky hair that she cuts herself, and a silver necklace like yours; she is a nursing assistant. are you interested? let me know. how’s everything going? did u know that there is a city in canada named Dildo? call me, okay.
Sara