Funny

Why try tired phrases when testing type? (A pangram is a sentence that makes use of every letter of the alphabet.)

In reference to yesterday’s post about Quicksilver:

Drew: I think I ran across that app when I was looking for a quick way to control iTunes
Me: I control iTunes via a bluetooth-enabled buttplug. I use my kegel muscles to squeeze it in certain ways to indicate ‘stop’ or ‘play’.
Drew: Nice.
Me: The problem is that I tend to shit myself when I try to change playlists.
Drew: We call those Smart Shitlists.

Remember, kids: Stainless Steel is not for swords.

The Bible, as IRC.

If you read it and laugh, you’re going to Hell.

If you read it, laugh, and understand it, you’re going to do Tech Support in Hell.

We saw this graffiti on a Ryder truck today.

Since I’m a nerd, I had to speed to catch up to it so we could get a picture of it.

The second line of graffiti looks like it says ‘Unix’-something, but it really said “Linear trains”. Go figure.

Ever wonder where all of those department-store Santas come from?

Now you know.

[NSFW, in a nudity-but-not-pornography kinda way.]

As some have wondered, “Wouldn’t it be cool if they released iTunes for DOS?”

I hear it’ll let you print your MP3s.

Mom writes:

“Do you remember me telling you about Bill Z?

“He apparently was forging checks. It was a big hoo ha involving bankers and stuff, so he made the Most Wanted list back in April.

“Right before you moved back to go to college, he had to attend a managers meeting in Pensacola (he had go because it was required for them to become accredited for something or other.) He’d bought a house over behind the mall in that spiffy neighborhood and movers were coming to move his grand piano. So, your stepfather[D] volunteered to go impersonate him at the meeting, if he paid both our ways, etc.

Mom told me today that every time my stepdad has acted like a jerk during the day, at supper my brother pours tea for him into a pink glass.

That’s so perfectly passive-aggressive. I’m very proud.

It really isn’t Mapquest‘s fault that their maps are wrong. Last night, looking up directions to a business, I discovered that Interstate North Parkway SE splits, but retains the same name. No kidding. Looking at the map, you’d think that Interstate North Parkway SE would become Leland Dr SE. However, this is Atlanta. Interstate North Parkway SE goes straight, and it also veers off to the northeast.

In a few months the city will probably rename both roads to “Interpeachtreestate Parkway North South Peach Circle Lane Way NE/SW”. Because Atlanta really needs more roads named Peach-something.